What was done to us is not our fault, no child is to blame for suffering such evil, despite what our abusers might say.
So we are not to blame, a child is the most innocent thing in all the world, and so incredibly dependant upon their caregivers.
But as we grow and become adult, then YES we have a duty and a responsibility to HEAL, for our own sakes and for the sakes of other survivors who need positive role models to follow in the tracks of.
Our wounding reverberates outwards, affecting us and those around us.
It is not our fault, and the wider impact of such wicked abuse continues to be felt long after the abusive act has finished!
We must heal, we must learn to re-inhabit our bodies again, we must process pain left over in our bodies and minds, we must find loving tribe to hold and console us, we must learn to assert proper boundaries as needed – to see and treat ourselves as sacred things.
All children are sacred things, particularly sacred at that. Who could defile such sweetness!?
As we heal so we come home to ourselves, so we eventually come, shored up and protected by asserted boundaries, forgiveness… a conversation I am only just able to start considering…. my whole life sworn to self never to forget, to find a way to make them pay – even if it means cutting off my own nose (to spite my face).
We must heal brothers and sisters, ever since my memories came back I’ve known healing is not only possible but inevitable IF one engages fully with the process.
Take your time, less is more, its a marathon not sprint, find professional help from a supportive avenue, find those willing to listen, talk and share your story as you are able.
You can and you will heal, if I can do it you can too, I promise.
I know some damage, some scars can never heal fully… But we can heal, come to find grace, come to find peace from the flashbacks and intrusive thoughts that can plague us. WE CAN COME TO SHINE BRIGHT AND TRUE as is our birthright.
You have already survived dearheart, now we must heal, together, and share our stories so the world knows the truth, and so it is galvanised to prevent such evil happening again.
All my love goes to you – Daniel