I’ve been practising forgiveness, here is what I have learned/ practised so far.
1/ its a choice not a feeling, you choose to forgive, you follow the process and so are eventually are liberated by it.
2/ God commands us to forgive, not forgiving is a ‘sin’ or missing of the mark, by this understanding it is certainly a area of growth for me.
The PROCESS goes a bit like this;
* every day make a choice to forgive those who have wronged me
* when I think of them try to love them (which surprisingly I can do)
* try to forgive them/myself. Even if I just utter the words and don’t believe/feel it yet, that IS enough
* keep on doing so, old feelings will get stirred up
* ask for Gods/universe/Tao’s HELP with these feelings, ask for help forgiving…
How to forgive those who abused me as a child/man? How to forgive those who betrayed and abandoned me?… All I know is that I don’t want to carry it anymore, I want to let it go and find grace.
Disclaimer: For me forgiving doesn’t mean forgetting or letting them back in, boundaries are in place and will continue to be, just because I seek to forgive certain people doesn’t mean they will EVER have a place in my life. I’ve always wrongly believed that forgiving means letting go of what they did.
I guess stubborn as I can be, or in natural reaction to recovering memories of extreme abuse and others death… I’ve recognised that not forgiving has a cost, and I don’t want to pay that price any more.
It’s time to forgive, and it’s going to take some work to get there, under the pain and rage is an ocean of grief… I want the peace promised on the other side of forgiving, and frankly I’ve tried everything else.
It just feels like the right thing to do, thankyou for reading and any words of insight/support