I relived this when I relived the first time I was raped, about four years ago now… I wont say here what was being done to me, but I know from a smell that I gave off during the reliving that I was young enough to smell like a baby…
At some point during the horror of it, I felt my soul leave my body a float around the room, looking down on my body and the adults around me.
I became aware of them after a while, as they gently, so gently guided me away, guided me up…
They were TALL and slender, golden and radiant as if made of light, features indistinguishable, elegant in their movements, and their language seemed to be of music, musical sounds sprang forth between them, and even as they moved music and starlight seemed to follow.
As they guided me so gently up into the sky, their arms and hands interwove and interweaved, making a basket for me of living golden light…
Higher we went, higher and higher, beyond the solar system, beyond the stars, until we came to a quiet place…
Here there was an immense body of water, stretching as far as the eye could see in every direction, and gently their music hushed, to a humming awe, and we all began to lower towards its surface, the entire cosmos reflected upon the surface…
Gradually they bathed my body into the water, which had the consistency and felt like warm milk, but it was clear, crystal clear, like a lake in a hidden glade on a perfect star-moon lit night..
As I bathed there, held in those perfect arms, so I was soothed, so I was made right again, so the pain left my soul…
And then, the noise of their language, their music seemed to change, more excited now, humming’s gently rose in intensity….
And then… at the far horizon a dawn began…. a golden sun started to rise, emitting such perfect warmth.
And as this golden sun rose, so it also encroached upon the seemingly infinite lake… drawing closer and closer, rising higher and higher, until it was all that could be seen, all that could be felt upon my skin which was not submerged… perfect warmth, belonging, safety…Home resonated through me.
And then the sun engulfed us all. And I knew who HE was, and cried tears of joy.
At some point I returned to my body, but I remembered always, while I also forgot, I had to forget it all because of what was so bad, but still it remained with me on some level, like an ever-spark, reminding me where I came from.